Stoked Smondays #4: Be A Poop Scooper, My Friend 💩
Here’s the latest edition where I talk about why you should become a poop scooper today, the best purchases I made in 2021 and links to content pieces I consumed last week.
This is Appu. He’s 8 months old.
His diet is better than most of us.
Milk in the morning, 100 gms of boiled chicken mixed with rice and curd for lunch, treats showered in the evening. Dinner is the same as lunch - 100 gms of boiled chicken and rice minus the curd.
A perfect mix of fat, carbs and protein.
You can witness the quality of his diet by looking at his poop. It’s as brown and lush as a 💩 can get.
Yes, I do take a look at his poop.
Twice a day.
No, it’s not by choice.
If you’re a pet parent not rich enough to hire a walker - you’ll understand it’s not by choice.
Every day, twice, I take him out for his dump. Have been doing this for the past 6 months.
The only difference between then and now is that I carry along a poop scooper.
Poop scooper is a wonderful plastic tool that lets you scoop your dog’s poop. It’s not like the ice cream scooper. Think of it more like the claw crane game you used to play at the mall where you had to grab a doll every time you put a coin into it.
The only difference between that shitty game and this poop scooper is this one actually scoops. Efficiently.
The thing I’m really fascinated about is its ability to pick the leftover portion of the poop without dropping the already scooped portion.
Like what level of engineering is this? 🤯
It’s clearly an underrated tool. I end up thanking it daily for not making me work for my dog’s shit. Anyway, the point of all this is not to walk you through the image of me scooping my dog’s shit.
If you think about it - there’s a life lesson hidden here.
We’re humans. We make mistakes. Tons of them.
We all have done shit we kinda wish we hadn’t.
Yelling at mom on the phone who’s been waiting for hours to get a callback.
Raising voice at dad only because we’re grown-ups, so now we can.
Raising voice at son only because you’re a dad. (Dad, If you’re reading this)
Not talking to grandparents only because we don’t have “time.”
Foul mouthing behind our colleague’s back and acting all cushy in front of them.
Farting in public and putting it on someone else.
Or as devious as not sharing this newsletter with your friends. THIS IS THE WORST OF ALL.
We have been there, done that. We’re way ahead in the game of shitting than all species out there. It comes quite naturally to us.
After all, we’re humans. We tend to make mistakes.
However, that’s not the problem you see. The difference between us and other species is that we have a much larger version of something called the cerebral cortex in our brains which is responsible for higher thought processes such as: reasoning, abstract thinking, and decision making.
We are intelligent beings. That means we do have a fair understanding of what’s right and what’s not.
But we leave our shit there. As it is. Thinking we’ve all the right reasons to let it be there.
“Why should we fix it? They deserved to be shat.”
Slowly, conscience kicks in and you feel bad. You realise your behaviour was inappropriate.
You realise your choice of words could have been better.
Your tone could have been softer. (Dad)
You could have made that call to your granny.
You could have held onto that fart only to be released at a secluded place.
You could have stopped yourself from shitting so bad.
But being the ego-centric fucknuts we are, we let it be there. Don’t move an inch. Let it stink. For hours, days, weeks and months.
We feel bad for what we did. But what can we do? How do we let go of our “I don’t take no one’s shit” personality? Won’t that make us look weak?
No worries, I’ve found a remedy.
But promise me you’ll smash that like button as a token of appreciation?
Okay? Okay.
Solution: Poop scooper.
Just for today, let go of your name and identity and turn yourself into a poop scooper.
There’s not much that you have to do after that. It’s a simple process. Let me explain.
Revisit the spots you shat on.
Take a good stare at it so that you don’t repeat it next time.
Gently scoop the shit.
Dampen the spot with some water and love.
Dump that shit into the dustbin. That’s it.
It’s that simple.
Call your mom.
Text your dad.
Buy your son his favourite bottle of whiskey. (Dad)
Talk to your grandparents.
Admit it to your group that it was you who farted the other night.
And for god’s sake please share this newsletter with your friends. Else none of the above steps work.
Go clean the mess you made. You know what I’m talking about. Today’s the day you do it. Smonday is the day.
Be a poop scooper today, my friend. Be a poop scooper.
P.S: On a serious note, Please order an actual scooper if you have a dog and are not using one already.
It’s really a shame that we dirty our roads only to go and reside in Canada and rant about how shitty India is.
Welcome to another edition of Stoked Smondays: A newsletter that you can read on a lazy Sunday that actually preps you up for the much anticipated Monday. Not literally.
This is where I write whatever the hell I want to with a pure intention of putting a smile on your face (spot the irony) and stimulating some good content into your brains. 🧠
Let’s gooo! 👊🏻
📚 Book
#1. Do Epic Shit:
Started the year with this light book by Ankur Warikoo. The best part about this book is that there’s no start to any topic. You can pick a page and start reading; it will make sense to you.
It’s a light read - you can finish it within 3 hours but I’d suggest taking it slow and reading a page or two a day. Even though the thoughts mentioned in this book wouldn’t hammer a nail inside your brain, implementing them in your life can be a bit difficult.
As they say, it’s easy to lose weight; all you have to do is eat mindfully, exercise for 30 mins a day and sleep well. Sounds simple but one of the most difficult things to do. At least for me.
Check out the book here.
📃 Article
Three Heuristics for Decision Making — Naval Ravikant
When faced with a difficult choice, if you cannot decide, the answer is no.
If you have 2 choices to make, and they’re relatively equal difficulty (50–50), take the path that is more difficult and more painful in the short term.
Make the choice that will leave you more equanimous (calmer and peaceful) in the long term.
Need I say more? Go read the article and watch the embedded video where Naval himself speaks about his decision-making heuristics.
🛒 Best Purchases of 2021
Here are some of the best purchases I made in 2021:
#1. Laptop Stand by Armilo:
This is an amazing product. For 500 bucks you get this thin (read: super thin) laptop stand for Mac which is sturdy and modular. It’s an amazing accessory if you use your device for longer hours on a desk; helps you in having the right neck and back posture for work.
Check it out here.
#2. Electric Toothbrush by Caresmith:
I always thought how weird it is of those who spend ₹1,000 on a toothbrush. It’s not like you just place the brush inside your mouth and it automatically starts weeding out leftovers of the snacks you were munching on last night. But I was wrong.
An electric brush does 4 important things:
Gives you a stroke rate of ~ 40,000 strokes per minute as opposed to ~300 that you get when you brush manually
Because of this, a 2-min brush is more than enough as opposed to chewing off the bristles and clogging our mouths with paste-water for an hour (But what joy this was when we were kids 🥲)
Helps efficiently remove plaque and left-over food
Improves blood circulation
There are 6 modes in this one and boy oh boy, the gum care mode is the best! You place the brush on your gums, close your eyes, switch the mode on and let it do its magic.
Check it out here.
#3. Logitech Mouse:
I find an external mouse to be a must if you’re working on your desk. It just increases your speed and ease of use to the next level as opposed to using the inbuilt trackpad. Plus, I just love using this mouse with my Mac because of this:
This button here is an amazing addition by Logitech, especially for Mac users. I haven’t used this in windows so can’t tell. If you have a lot of fullscreen tabs open or “Screens” as it’s shown on Mac, click this button and it will give you a holistic view. The same can be done using swipe gestures on your trackpad but this button makes it quick. Even if the difference is just a fraction of a second, it just elevates your overall user experience.
Check it out here.
#4. Mobile Stand: This is a simple addition to your desk. If you’re someone who’s constantly on calls and prefers talking in speaker mode, then lifting your phone every time might get irritating after a few calls. With this stand, just place your phone on it and easily navigate through your phone without lifting it. A simple yet efficient product.
Check it out here.
#5. Courage To Be Disliked: I don’t usually read books, I prefer long-form articles over them. But this book has changed a lot of existing beliefs I inculcated over the years and makes me question things from a completely different perspective which I would have never (literally) imagined.
Check it out here.
🎥 Video
#1. Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator - Re-watched one of the best talks I’ve ever seen by Tim Urban. This is probably the best articulation of what procrastination really looks and feels like. Watch it if you haven't.
🦜 Tweets
#1.
I have stopped using Instagram. I only use it on Sundays where I log in only to promote my Smondays. Instagram is a waste of time. If you’re reading this and you’re not on Twitter - you’re losing out on a lot of things friend. Make an account and follow these people mentioned by Easlo.
#2
6th: Never miss out on Stoked Smondays.
That’s it for this edition folks! Hope you have an amazing Smonday. See you next week. 🧗🏻♂️
If you have any feedback, suggestions, tips, advice, thoughts - anything you’d like to share - feel free to comment. Or you can reply to this email.
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That was an interesting and very peculiar read!